drear | give me a miracle, i just want out from this

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give me a miracle, i just want out from this

[ Noiz hardly has friends. Mujina doesn't count, he's a coworker and teammate. Aoba is—Aoba. He has acquaintances, contacts, and not much more. Mon is an acquaintance he's familiar with.

Mon is nice to him. Noiz doesn't understand that either. From their first few encounters, Mon's been treating him like he's normal. He's never tried to get anything in return, no matter what Noiz demands or asks after. Even when Noiz presses and asks, squeezing him for an answer on why he tries to be nice when there's no point at all, Mon yields and yet still gives little away.

So it's odd for Mon to turn him away. When his messages go unanswered he moves on to showing up in person and knocking loudly. ]

What are you doing in there?

[ He moves close to the crack between the door and the frame to be better heard. Someone passing by in the hallway gives him a skeptical look. ]

Are you dead or something? Let me in.

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[ noiz isn't shy about sticking close to his side, arms around mon, because he knows that mon is being genuine when he asks if he wants to come along—to the pet store or to the bedroom. ]

Yeah. [ as they reach the bed, noiz goes down with him. he puts his hands down on the bed on either side of mon to keep himself from landing on top of him. ]

Wake me up when you're going to go. [ knees come to the bed next. noiz hovers above him, looking for an indication in his face of the trust that he knows is there. he's still not sure what he did to deserve this. ] I'll help you carry things.

[ if he knew that was what noiz was thinking, mon would tell him that he's been kind to mon, that he's helped him, that mon likes being around him and feels sad when he doesn't see him for whatever reason. he would tell him things that maybe don't equate to 'what is deserved' but to mon it's not about that anyway. it's about how he's sort of sure noiz doesn't realize how sweet he is, or even think of it that way even if mon does. and it's about things like 'i'll help you carry things'.

with noiz hovering over him, it's easy to reach up with one hand and smooth it along his jaw and up to the corner where it's easy to curl. mon's hand is small but warm, and when he smiles up at noiz, that's also warm. ]

Sure. And thanks. Ah...you know...

[ a pause, a thought, and mon smiles a little wider until his eyes close. ]

...I'm really happy.

[ because this should never be taken for granted, because people should never be expected to read each other's minds whether human or demon or angel. mon keeps a lot of things to himself, darker things, sad things. but he tries to make up for it by sharing the other pieces that mean something to him. ]

[ because mon's eyes close, he won't see noiz's brow soften. he doesn't smile. he knows mon is being gentle, even though he can't actually feel anything, and he curves down over him until his face is in the crook of mon's neck. ]

Right now? [ they're not doing anything. they've barely done anything since mon came back, other than take care of the rabbit, and though that was fine, it wasn't fun. was it? noiz rubs his nose into his neck, inhaling his smell quietly. ]

What's there to be happy about? [ he asks, a genuine question because noiz doesn't know how to describe neutral-to-good interactions, even now that he knows there's nothing underneath them to fear. ] We're not doing anything.

Mmhmm. [ mon's way of humming his agreement is always warm and encouraging, as if to say of course without actually using the words. doing something or doing nothing, well, of course they're different. but the thing that's the same about them is that both can be enjoyable when you like the person who's in your company; at least that's what mon thinks. he goes back and forth in his head over it for a second before curling his hand against the back of noiz's neck fully, a grip that's soft because mon can't help it. ]

We're together. And nothing bad has happened. You're going to go to the store with me tomorrow. To me, these are things to be happy about.

[ letting his eyes close, mon sighs softly, a sound of contentment more than anything else; and trust. ]

I guess it might sound silly, but for me it's true.

[ nothing bad has happened yet. noiz hums with his lips against the side of his neck, enough to make them vibrate. the sound of consideration tails into a low response, ]

I like being with you. [ he melts down to the side of mon, finally, one arm sliding under mon's head and the other wrapping over his front. ] But you're just happier than I am. Happier more often. It's not... silly.

[ noiz nuzzles closer to his shoulder. ]

Not if it's true.

[ noiz is cute and mon is fairly sure he has no idea that this is true, and even more sure he wouldn't agree, but that's okay. it's enough that mon gets to see him like this, the way he curls down against him in a way that's both incredibly cute and almost dizzyingly affectionate. the days when mon felt concerned for noiz aren't gone -- is he lonely, what does he need, what does he want, what can i do for him -- but the days when mon wasn't sure if noiz even wanted to be near him at all are history. it's a blessing, if mon can even use that term for himself, being a demon, and his small hands curl into the fabric of noiz's shirt tighter than he realizes as he hums again, a faint song-like undertone in his voice. ]

Thank you for liking me, [ soft, and softer still, ] and thank you for letting me like you and not thinking it's silly.

[ being permitted, after all, to care, is a generosity too.

mon kisses any sliver of skin he's nearest to -- the side of his face close to his temple, a tickle of noiz's hair making his nose twitch, not unlike a rabbit. ]

[ noiz has adjusted, finally, to the idea that he can be so close and physical with someone without further expectation. there's no weight. he's never been bothered by the physical kind, and he's also only recently admitted that there was a mental one before, with others.

he exhales out slowly, eyelids dropping low. his breath makes a bit of mon's hair float up and fall down again. more kisses make his eyes close fully. ]

You're so embarrassing.

[ but he doesn't sound mad about it. if anything, he tucks himself closer to mon's side, longer limbs thrown over him to loosely grip the sheets next to his hip. his legs move until mon's feet are against his shins, and his own feet dangling below. ]

I know you don't want to be stuck here, [ on earth, specifically. ] but I'm glad you're with me.

[ mon is...surprised to hear those words, but also almost embarrassingly happy -- true to noiz's words. his hands move up to cradle noiz's face, asking him to tilt so that they can kiss properly, eyes open not necessary of course. really, mon just wants to be as close as possible, to convey that he's glad too, to be as embarrassing as ever and let noiz know he's the reason in a good way. it's true he doesn't want to be stuck. but the other truth is that if he wasn't stuck here, he would be stuck topside. there is no in-between for a demon like mon. he has a place and a role to fulfill up above, and the only way out of it is the one he's found himself in here.

the tangle of noiz's legs and his arms is welcome, as are his words, and mon kisses him with a too gentle open mouth even as he says, ]

You make me happy. If that's embarrassing, then okay. I'll be embarrassing.

[ even as he says this, he flushes pink up to the tips of his ears; not a bold person exactly, but honest. earnest.

loving. ]

[ noiz moves his head, angling the way mon guides him so that his mouth is within range. he feels his lips, softly, for just a moment, in the kiss. ]

Mm. [ when he draws away, he doesn't have many more words, settled enough to believe and be comfortable in it. he still can't quite return them out loud. ] I'll set an alarm for tomorrow.

[ he does, thumbing swiftly at his phone before throwing it aside again. he'd never describe what he does as "snuggling", but it's a close thing as he closes his eyes. he also wouldn't admit to the stress over a rabbit having anything to do with it, but he wakes up before the alarm he'd set. ]

[ when noiz wakes up, mon is still asleep. he'd stayed awake quite a while after noiz drifted off, petting his hair and drawing light shapes at the back of his neck, all while listening carefully for any sounds of potential distress from the bathroom. there were none, and mon's hearing is keen enough he was sure he would hear even if it was slight, but by the time he too fell asleep it was near to 5 or so in the morning. as such, though he doesn't mean to be, he sleeps evenly and deeply, when other days he might preempt the alarm just as noiz has. one hand is curled softly and warmly in noiz's shirt. ]

[ lying in bed, with mon curled close to his chest and holding onto him, noiz traces the delicate curve and tip of his nose with his eyes. his fingers are so small. noiz tries to wiggle lower on the bed, pulling his clothes free of his grip, until he can bring his mouth to his knuckles and feel the shape of them.

if that doesn't wake him, the alarm will a moment later. noiz peeks upwards when he hears any shifting. ]

You look like the rabbit when you're sleeping.

[ slowly mon pulls himself into wakefulness, the slight throb of his head indicative of should have slept sooner. it's a pale thing though compared to how easy it is for mon to feel warmth, sleepy eyes taking in noiz's presence, sleepy coherence noting the touch of his mouth to his hand. he smiles, a clumsy expression in his half-awakeness. ]

Rabbits are cuter though.

[ he lets the hand noiz has his attention on stay there, but he uses his other to card through noiz's hair, gradually waking the rest of the way up to feeling more than sight or sound. ]

[ noiz feels out the bump of mon's knuckle with his lips, drawing his tongue over it in a quick flick that barely leaves a trace. it's only to remind himself of feeling before they get up. ]

I dunno. Sometimes you can be kinda cute.

[ he pulls himself up eventually on an elbow. ]

Are you going to check on your new roommate?

Mmhmm! He was quiet all night...hopefully he's still okay.

[ eyes widening briefly, not having forgotten but not having thought of it immediately as he would've assumed he would, mon half rolls half clumsily stumbles out of bed, steps quite light afterward towards the bathroom. the new roommate is awake but not in any apparent distress and maybe some of mon's affinity in both directions with creatures has extended to earth. maybe in ordinary circumstances he couldn't gently step close and kneel and expect this rabbit to furtively sniff his fingers then allow himself to be scooped; but the rabbit does, and mon coos softly at him, giggling when the ears twitch and brush his nose. his gaze downward can be no word other than 'fond'. ]

I love you.

[ said without thinking but completely meaning it, this is what mon feels. shuffling out of the bathroom, he pauses, glancing at the time. the store he has in mind opens surprisingly early, which is lucky. if they leave within the next ten minutes, they'll be there around then, if a little after. ]

[ noiz rolls over in the bed after mon vacates it. he's awake—has been for long enough that he won't fall back asleep—but he's slower to climb out and find some of the clean clothes he left in mon's apartment on an earlier visit.

he can hear him in the bathroom. ]

Are you talkin an animal in there?

[ actually. a thought occurs to noiz. ]

Can you understand animals? [ being supernatural and all. ]

Nope.

[ and then mon tilts his head, mouth pursed thoughtfully. the rabbit's ear twitches. ]

Ah. Well not literally. But um....intuitively? Kind of?

[ not being able to outright speak to them doesn't equate to a complete lack of communication after all, and animals either warm quickly or straight-up flock to mon more often than not (a couple scenarios of runaway dogs, found stray cats, so on and so forth as proof over time.) walking over to noiz, he pauses, just enough room between them to not make the rabbit feel too closed in. ]

Do you want to hold him while I change?

[ mon's smile is soft; he won't hold it against noiz if he'd rather not. ]

[ noiz is staring at him, not entirely convinced, and feels vindicated when mon dithers. ]

Because you're like a rabbit.

[ that said, noiz is less comfortable with a real rabbit than mon. he stands silently for a second before makes to sit down on the ground.

there, he'll decrease the amount of distance he might fall. ]

Are you going to change in front of his innocent eyes?

Wh-- n-no!

[ chances are, of course, the rabbit doesn't care, but mon blushes immediately, carefully placing him into noiz's arms once he's seated before disappearing to change to another oversized shirt and soft fit pants. his wardrobe is more or less all echoes of one kind of comfy look, but it works, and when he reappears just minutes later, he smiles. ]

Okay! Off we go!

[ he takes the new roommate and considers a handful of names, tucking him into the curl of his arms easily. once noiz is up too, mon goes up on his toes to kiss his cheek for no reason then heads for the door. ]

[ noiz says nothing more, but he raises his eyebrows and holds onto the rabbit as he sits on the ground. he doesn't peek, either, though he definitely thinks about it. ]

I think you ought to get a leash for him. Like a dog.

[ as he gets back to his feet, noiz also doesn't make an effort to straighten his rumpled clothes or do anything about the pieces of hair that stick up from sleep. his eyelids drop slightly when mon kisses his cheek. ]

Lead the way.

[ because he has the rabbit in his arms, mon hesitates, but then he very carefully makes sure the bundle in his hold is secure in the crook of his one arm so he can use the other to reach up. then he smooths noiz's hair, a slight giggle in his voice that's affectionate more than anything else. then they really do head off.

this early, the street is fairly empty, and the walk is both uneventful and pleasant, mon's arm brushing noiz's sometimes as they walk. ]

I don't know...I've never heard of rabbits and leashes before...

[ but the way his tone is, it's easy to tell he's genuinely considering the possibility -- not necessarily for their rabbit! but just whether or not it has happened before. ]

[ a few tufts of noiz's hair go down, but another pops back up. he ignores it as he follows mon out. ]

I'll look it up. [ he starts typing with one hand while walking, moving a step away from mon to decrease the probability of bumping into him. ] There are some pictures.

[ after holding it up to show him, he starts scrolling through articles and advice. looks like it's possible on a case by case basis... noiz is pulled in by the information. the rabbit isn't his, nor was he fully encouraging when mon brought him back the first time. still—nothing wrong with learning. ]

What if you want to bring him to the park some time? Rabbits like grass.

[ it's a good point honestly. where mon has gotten used to trusting the creatures in the cubes at h&h roman with generous liberty -- often to the point of injury --, he's gone long enough here without any animal at all to sort of...forget. or rather, he's never had to learn himself. even if he feels he can trust the rabbit not to run, for its own safety, a leash is a good idea, supposing it doesn't hate it beyond all belief...

he looks at the pictures noiz offers, making a slight hmmm sound, mouth quirking to one side. the rabbit feels distinctly calm in his arms, and he wonders if maybe he's gotten lucky and some of his knack with the 3rd mankind has lent itself to this too. ]

It doesn't hurt to try. And it would be nice to be able to take him out, so he doesn't have to feel trapped in the apartment...

[ mon smiles up at noiz, grateful in that everyday way that easily comes to him; because he's quite often grateful to noiz even if maybe it seems needless. as they walk, he makes sure to keep his hold on the rabbit both secure and gentle. ]

It's nice of you to come with me today...thank you.

I'm surprised he's letting you carry him in the first place. [ while they walk, noiz peers over at the furry creature in his arms. the ears are laid back. he looks... relaxed.

mon is a weirdo for sure. a special one. ]

Isn't this what normal people would do? [ noiz is doing his best to be normal. ] Help the people they like.

[ the store is in sight. noiz moves slightly ahead to the door. he's never been in such a store before, though, and after he opens it he waits for mon to go in first, feeling somehow unable to look him in the face after what he'd just said. ]

I think so. I mean, neither of us is super normal, but, I like being together.

[ earnest, and weird, and a handful of other things, none of them really bother monday whether about himself or noiz. the rabbit stays calm even once they're inside the store, and though the time efficient thing would be to locate an employee and ask all pertinent questions, mon lingers just inside. he thinks about how noiz is right, that it is 'normal' but specifically to him in the sense that noiz has become his normal. were noiz to one day decide he didn't want to be near him, it would hurt. mon would feel his absence; miss him.

'normal' is relative and a luxury. this is something mon thought he knew before but has, since being earthbound, learned better.

it's this thought that has him gently nudge noiz's arm or side with his elbow - since he's still curled around the rabbit and his hands are thus occupied - and he follows it up with an affectionate side-tap of his head to noiz's shoulder. it's silly and that's fine. he smiles. ]

Actually I think I said it wrong. I think...you are my normal. And that's really nice.

[ if mon says things that are embarrassing, well, that's just...what noiz will have to deal with. then mon doesn't wait longer, starts meandering in search of a store staff member and asks all his questions, animatedly of course, when he finds one. ]

[ that may be an understatement. mon is from a different dimension. noiz stands next to him, looking around with slightly-disguised interest. there are so many small animals in the shop—even the cats in a room to the side, larger than the rabbit, seem both fragile and foreign.

his gaze jumps back to mon at the shoulder tap. ]

You have a really weird sense of what's normal.

[ normally noiz would push back on "nice", too, but he finds that he agrees. whatever they have is nice. he turns away to look at a display rack, uncommonly embarrassed, and drifts off while remianing in earshot to hear everything the store attendant says.

he only swoops back in when the appropriate supplies have been listed. ]

You do next-day delivery? [ almost before he hears "yes" noiz is providing his payment details and mon's address. ]

give me a miracle, i just want out from this

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